umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
this beer tastes like vomit already
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
