If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
