The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
