I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize