I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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