i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
