seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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