dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
