Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
