you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
