im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
