Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
