Will you blow on my dice?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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