I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick, to the slutcave!
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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