No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
