He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
