She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
