Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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