Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
