I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm both gender and math confused
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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