hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
