i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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