I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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