Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
