i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
