Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Randomize