Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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