That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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