If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
