Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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