Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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