You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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