checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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