just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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