GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
