I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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