Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize