just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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