This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
