her vagine was all disorganized.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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