11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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