Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
