Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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