the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i've created a new STD.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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