I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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