I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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