Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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