I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
