Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
