I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
