my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
