8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
