I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
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