she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Blood and glitter go together right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
