did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
