also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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