Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
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I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize