I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
