last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
