He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
