you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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