Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
