No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
