She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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