We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
